THE CHOICE IS YOURS
The sad fact is that there is an increasing number of suicides among young people. This would not happen to a person who likes him or herself - a person who’s busy making something of their life. When you like yourself you are thankful for life and you do things you like doing. You see the potential for happiness rather than pain and suffering. Sure, there is grief and often we can’t avoid it, but there is always something good to focus on. Something good that makes up for the pain no matter how bad the situation.

‘MOIRA’-FEELINGS COME AND GO I don’t always feel like training, but afterwards I always feel the better for it. It’s like I’ve proved to myself that I can do something once I make up my mind. Feelings come and go and sometimes it is good to listen to them but other times it is better to just get up and do something. I’m working on a mission statement that helps me be clear on the type of person I want to become and plan how to go about it. I don’t want to change who I am. But it’s more like making the best of who I am. Realising my full potential.  

Despair and sadness are things we all have to deal with at times but there are positive steps we can take to avoid entering a place without hope. One step is to see beauty in the way we look and behave. When we hear that critical voice inside ourselves giving out about our looks, our body, our clothes, our way of going on, our family, that’s when we need to flip the coin and look at the opposite.

‘DANIEL’-DON'T CRITICISE I try to be courteous. I know some people think it’s boring to be polite and nice about things but I notice a lot of people who need to put down others to make themselves look good. I think that’s so stupid. If you have nothing good to say don’t say it. The more you criticise others the more doors you close regarding what you can do and the people you can talk to and learn from. I had to find another crowd to hang out with. People who are doers rather than moaners.  

The positive truth is that we are beautiful, even if nobody admits it, we are talented even if nobody encourages us, we are loved even when nobody seems to care.

‘MOIRA’-I USED TO ALWAYS ARGUE I used to always argue with my mum. I thought everything she did was so hick and uncool until we did this role playing in the youth club and I had to play my mum. It suddenly dawned on me how many things she has to do; the housework, the cooking, the washing and the worrying that we don’t have enough money. I felt terrible for the way I never helped out so now I try to see things more from her point of view when she gives out I apologise and tell her that I love her and I know she loves me too even though sometimes she is stressed out.  

You may think you’re fooling yourself by telling yourself the opposite of the harsh judgement you hear inside your head and feel in your body. But that might be because somebody has said or done something that hurt you. Just remember what a person says tells more about them than about you. Don’t waste time putting yourself down.

‘DANIEL'- WISHES OTHERS HAD HELPED HIM I’ve started helping out with the kids Rugby training on Saturday mornings and do things that I guess I wish others would have done for me when I was younger. I enjoy being with the little brats even though they sometimes get out of hand. I tell them to eat more fruit and drink juice instead of soft drinks, so many people get fat and lose their health because they eat the wrong food. They’re great kids. Really.  

Try to remember it takes as much effort to make yourself unhappy as it does to make yourself happy. The only difference is where your focus lies.

‘YVONNY’-USED TO EAT ALL THE TIME I used to eat all the time. It was all in my head, I guess I felt ugly because my sister is really good-looking. My only happiness was chocolate and cakes. Then I used to throw it all up because I was afraid of getting fat. When my friend discovered what was going on she said she would tell my parents unless I looked for help.

I went to the school counsellor and she suggested that I turn things around and look at what I have instead of what I don’t have. I realised I have some very good friends whereas my sister is always in trouble because she gets into relationships with older boys who are just using her. We’re friends now. Last year we demonstrated against the death-penalty in California. We’ve joined Amnesty International and we write urgent petitions every month to help people who are treated unjustly.